


And Other Stories

by angelkilt



Category: DR. SEUSS - Works, Supernatural
Genre: Awesome, Crack, Gen, Hunting, mid season 5
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2012-05-05
Updated: 2012-05-05
Packaged: 2017-11-04 20:54:21
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,454
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/398109
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/angelkilt/pseuds/angelkilt
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The boys make a pit stop in Montana to check out some strange animal attacks. Turns out these new creatures may not be so unfamiliar after all.</p>
            </blockquote>





	And Other Stories

“So according to the Sheriff, the three kids were a part of a local street gang. Caused the town a lot of trouble, he said they were probably just screwing around and stumbled into an animal den.” Dean took the seat opposite his brother at the 24 hour diner. The Winchester brothers had been driving through Montana when a report came over the police scanner; three male teenagers had been attacked. Being hyper aware of any and all supernatural activity that could be apocalypse related, the hunters had bee-lined to Bozeman to investigate.

“Two of the kids are in critical condition. I talked to the other at the hospital…” Sam paused as the matronly waitress appeared to take Dean’s order, a double cheeseburger, before continuing. “He uh… pretty much confirmed his statement to the police. They were walking back from a friend’s house and decided to take a short cut through the woods. This is when they were caught in the crossfire… between two ten foot, yellow birds.” Sam sighed shaking his head looking tiredly into his untouched salad.

Dean snorted into his glass of water. “Wow. Must have been some party.”

“That wasn’t even the weirdest part.”

“What could be weirder than big birds trying to gank each other?”

“According to the kid, one of the birds had a giant blue star on its stomach.” Sam leaned back to let the waitress set down Dean’s plate. The elder Winchester paid her no heed, sitting straight up in his chair and staring at Sam like he had just told Dean that pie grew on trees.

“You mean like-“ Dean paused for the waitress to waddle off to another table. He lowered his voice to an urgent whisper, “Like a Star-bellied Sneetch?”

“A what?” Sam deadpanned staring back at his brother.

“Oh come on Stanford! Like you never read the Sneetches as a kid.” Dean glared annoyed with the lack of enthusiasm.

Sam countered with a pristine bitch face. “No Dean, when I was a kid I had to read survival guides and memorize new identities with every school.”

The brothers spent the rest of their meal in an uncomfortable silence. Both were lost in their own unpleasant thoughts. Sam was contemplating how long he should wait before contacting Ruby, he was starting to get the headaches again. Even though they hadn’t encountered any news of Lilith recently didn’t mean he could afford to be weak. Dean was doing his best not to think of Hell, angels, demons, Cas, his dead father, or the apocalypse in general… instead he started a mental checklist of all the improvements his baby would need before winter.

The thick tension followed them back to their cheap motel room. Dean fell onto his bed and immediately started filling the Magic Fingers meter with coins. The loud rumble of the massage bed visibly annoyed the taller of the brothers. In retaliation, Sam turned on the local news, turning the volume up loud enough to drown out the noise. Dean was unimpressed with the weather report and started fiddling with the bedside radio.

“I’m going for a walk.” Sam grunted shutting off the TV.

“Oh really.” Dean growled not bothering to try and hide his suspicion. Sam stalked out of the room without sparing a glance towards his brother. His long legs carried him quickly away from the room and his brother.

A few blocks away, Sam pulled out his cell and dialed Ruby’s number. There was no signal. Sam cursed under his breath and began his quest to find cell service in Montana.

Meanwhile, Dean was having his own problems. “Come on Cas, anytime now!” Dean yelled at the ceiling fan however it seemed to have just as little effect as yelling at the television or the walls. “Man get your feathery ass down here, I don’t care how!” Dean paused for a moment.

“What the Hell?” Dean began flipping through his dad’s old journal, he wasn’t sure if he was more upset about Cas ignoring him or about the impromptu rhyme. Just like every other time he had checked, the journal held no clues to the mysterious bird creatures that might be prowling around.

A loud buzz interrupted Dean’s brooding. “I didn’t know we had a bell.”

Being the skilled hunter he was, Dean grabbed his gun and demon knife tucking both into his pants as he glared through the peephole. No one was there. Double checking the salt lines, Dean carefully opened the door.

The sun was shining, birds were chirping, and a wooden shipping crate sat innocently on the concrete walk way. The only writing on the crate were a few boldened red letters proclaiming ‘THIS SIDE UP’.

Dean dragged the package into the room and subjected the poor inanimate object to a cornucopia of demonic and supernatural tests. After his extensive tests Dean had discovered that the box was wooden…. And only contained a few red words…

The elder Winchester wondered for a moment if he should wait for his brother to return, then decided that he was probably knee deep in demon bitch blood and waiting for him would be stupid. Dean maneuvered the crate into the middle of the room then grabbed the lid and attempted to pry it off.

“Son of a bitch!” Dean yelled pulling on the lid with all his might. The lid remained stubbornly attracted to the box. He grabbed his knife and tried to jimmy the box open, to no avail. Not having a crowbar handy, Dean grabbed a shovel from the trunk of the Impala to try and wedge the lid open. Placing his entire weight on the handle of the shovel, the tool snapped in half sending Dean stumbling into the box headfirst. “Ugh… double bitch…”

After ten minutes of failed attempts to hack into the crate with his knife, Dean decided to get some fresh air. He stalked away from the room and towards a dull soda machine. He pulled his cellphone out along with some change, checking his signal while purchasing a tasty root beer.

Returning to his room, Dean returned to his bed. Gulping down the soda, Dean didn’t notice the slight change in the room… at first. The hunter was busy contemplating the location of the nearest bar, his eyes drifted lazily over the room when he noticed something odd. He jumped up to investigate the now slightly open crate, peering inside.

Dean pulled out his handgun and used the butt to flip the lid entirely off the box, quickly switching the gun around to shoot any threat that might emerge. The box was empty. He stood up to his full height and scanned the room. Nothing else seemed out of place.

A sudden breeze fluttered between his legs as Dean felt his pants pull down towards his ankles. Before he could turn to see the culprit, he was kicked in the back. Dean fell sideways into the box which shattered like balsa wood under his weight. His head smacked against the thinly carpeted floor with a dull thud. Struggling to sit up, Dean watched the room spin and red streaks zapped back and forth across the room. The ceiling fan was ripped out of its place crashing onto Dean’s bed. The television was picked up by a red streak and dismantled leaving its pieces scattered throughout the room. Dean screwed his eyes shut trying to block out the colors and the spinning, listening to the destruction happening in the room. He heard the water running and the radio’s turning on.

Without warning, Dean was lifted from his spot by four very strong little hands. He struggled to no avail to escape his unseen assailants as they carried him into the bathroom and tossed him in the bathtub. He tried to get up but was stopped by a lamp shade being forced over his head. He struggled to push it up as more chaos echoed around him.

Silence fell heavily upon the room and Dean froze waiting for the next round of destruction.

“Hey- DEAN!?” Sam stormed into the bathroom following a responding grunt. “W-What the Hell man?” Dean looked up from the over flowing bathtub, pants around his ankles and lampshade on his head and shrugged at his giant brother.

“Look all I know is that they came in the crate. Thanks for asking by the way, I’m feeling great.” Dean grunted as he pulled himself up. Sam interrupted his investigation of the debris to shoot his brother a look. “Can’t stop…. Hand me my pop.” Dean slapped his hand against his forehead in agony while Sam grabbed the can of Root Beer trying not to laugh.

“So I’m thinking a witch maybe?”

**Author's Note:**

> SNEETCHES! And Things 1 & 2\. In case anyone was wondering.


End file.
